Just cropdusted the office
if only i could text you this smell
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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