I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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