dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
