next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
