I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
