no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
