Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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