Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
MIDGETS
????
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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