do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
