He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
