Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
