5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
