He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
