she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
