he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
