found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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