u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My cat gives me a boner
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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