quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize