Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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