Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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