Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
