dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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