would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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