If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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