I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
