I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
