Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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