They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Green mimosas i think yes
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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