Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
