I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
