Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
