the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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