My nipple is on Facebook.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
