It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
