OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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