thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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