..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
