Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And then the night went full on bisexual.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize