I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
