Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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