He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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