Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
