4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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