idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
