Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
