Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
