Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
