It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
