She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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