I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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