he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize