Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
