i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Someone shattered a urinal.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
