Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize