who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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