I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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