i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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