dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
