Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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