Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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