after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
