I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
