Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
